This article was originally written in Turkish and has been translated into English with the help of artificial intelligence (AI). The translation may contain errors; the original Turkish version is the authoritative text.
Shyness is part of many people’s way of life and affects their daily lives negatively. The greatest effect of this feeling becomes apparent when people speak in public.
The pressures people experience while growing up from their mother, father or older siblings, their parents’ separation, the death of a parent, growing up in a large family and pressures at school are the main factors that make a person shy.
Shy people generally lack self-confidence. They constantly want to hide themselves. Although they are well educated, knowledgeable and socially well equipped, they keep holding themselves back with a feeling of being suppressed. This is reflected in their speech when they express themselves. So much so that some people’s voices tremble, others’ hands tremble, and their faces turn bright red. They feel a tremendous reluctance to speak. A mistake made while speaking seems to them like the biggest mistake of their lives. This fear and shyness push them into loneliness.
Shy people should start by accepting that they are shy. When they are alone with themselves, they need to ask why they are shy, and in which settings and on which subjects they feel shy. If they experience this feeling when talking to someone of the opposite sex, they should make a quick plan before speaking of the topics they will talk about, and then begin speaking in well-formed sentences.
Most important of all is to make eye contact with the other person. Likewise, in a business conversation or a speech in front of an audience, very good planning and correct Turkish are important factors in reducing shyness to a minimum. If, in everyday conversations, the person stops avoiding speaking and instead becomes bolder and more willing to speak, does not worry about the mistakes they make in the first months, assumes that the people they are talking to will be understanding, and adds to this a few seconds of thinking beforehand about what they will say, a sense of self-confidence will gradually take root through self-suggestion, and the feeling of shyness will fade away.
The people around a shy person should not simply shrug and say, “Well, that’s just how our friend is.” The most important help for a shy person should come from the friends around them. They can help with various gentle reminders, in a way that does not pressure or weary the shy person.