This article was originally written in Turkish and has been translated into English with the help of artificial intelligence (AI). The translation may contain errors; the original Turkish version is the authoritative text.
In my articles so far I have talked about topics such as the healthy use of our voice, ways of speaking in public and healthy breathing. In this article I will try to explain what we should pay attention to when speaking without seeing the other person — in other words, how to speak on the telephone at work and with those close to us. Now you will say that if we want, we can make video calls and see the other person too. You are right, but it is not always possible to make a video call. Just think: your phone rings while you are eating at home, or you are watching television lying down, your clothes are not suitable, there is someone beside you whom the person on the phone should not see, you have just got off a plane, a train or a bus and your phone rings — in the middle of all that, could you make a video call? We could give many more examples. When all this is considered, video calls are not very practical, so conversations in which people do not see each other always come to the fore. In this form of communication we cannot use some of the elements we make use of face to face. For example, we cannot see the person’s state at that moment, we cannot touch them, there is no eye contact. Gestures and facial expressions have disappeared — in other words, the visual element has gone. Add to this the time limit that is always a factor in telephone conversations. A telephone call has a duration, and this time must be used economically. Within it we have to say what we want to say and get the answers we need. Long telephone calls cost money, and because the other person cannot see you, their attention starts to wander after 10–15 minutes. So to understand the person we are talking to and to influence them, all we have left is to use our voice and our lips well. In this article I will try to minimise the problems we face in telephone communication: not listening to the other person, speaking fast, words not heard clearly, a dull tone of voice, doing other things while on the phone, lying, brushing things off, ignoring the other person’s reactions, and not being considerate towards oneself and the other person.
Let us look at telephone conversations in two parts.
IF YOU ARE THE ONE BEING CALLED
When the phone rings, the first impression gained through hearing lays a positive or negative foundation for the conversation. So how should we create a positive first impression when the phone rings? Before the phone rings, our brain is busy with something else, because it is not expecting the call. However high its capacity, the brain finds it hard to do two things at once. So when the phone rings, we need to detach ourselves from what we are doing and prepare ourselves psychologically to talk. This takes a few seconds. If we carry on with what we were doing while lifting the receiver to our ear — or even keep working on the task in our hands — be aware that because we cannot focus our attention, it will be divided and we will do neither thing to the expected standard. This will unsettle the person you are talking to. Even though the other person cannot see you, answer the phone with a bright, smiling face. That way you will feel more ready for a good conversation. And if you start by standing up straight and taking a diaphragmatic breath, your self-confidence will increase even more.
When the phone rings, the first short ring is a signal for both sides to get ready. While the caller gathers their thoughts and plans how to begin, the person being called puts down what they are doing and concentrates on the conversation. If the phone is answered on the first ring, both sides may be caught unprepared, and the caller may have difficulty getting into the subject. If, on the other hand, it rings more than three times, the caller may sense reluctance, carelessness and similar negative attitudes.
The speed with which you reach for the receiver affects your tone of voice in the first moment, your flow of breath, the intelligibility of your words and even your greeting. If you answer the phone hurriedly, the hurried movement also affects your tone of voice, making it loud and sharp, so that it comes across to the other person as agitation and stress. If you answer more slowly than necessary, there is a very high chance that your voice will sound slack and weary. Because slowness of movement also lowers the dynamics of speech, the first words of greeting may come out barely audible and drawn out. So whether too slow or too fast, the dynamics of picking up the receiver determine the dynamics of the conversation. Your surroundings during a call are also very important. Being in a crowded or very noisy place, or with loud music playing, affects your ability to speak comfortably and prevents you from concentrating on the call. And because the other person will hear the noise too, their attention will wander as well. Both sides are prevented from hearing each other easily. Such conversations, which affect both sides psychologically, can jeopardise the atmosphere of rapport that should be established in the very first moments.
Another common mistake is the greeting formula we use when we first answer the phone. Said in one breath, this formula is often not understood, because the other person is not yet ready to listen and because you speak fast to save time. The other person asks you to repeat it, and this takes away the time you wanted to save. So however busy you are, the words of greeting should be said clearly, one by one, and not too fast, and the words should not run into one another. In this way we both avoid wasting time and create a noticeable, respectable first impression.
IF YOU ARE THE ONE CALLING
If you are the one calling, then in addition to what I described above you need to pay attention to two further points. When you pick up the receiver and call the other party, it will be extremely helpful first to introduce yourself. Especially in the business world, this is an important first-impression rule that earns you points in telephone use. It is better to say the company name afterwards. Sometimes, if you say the company name without saying your own name, the other person may hang up as soon as they hear it. So first introduce yourself, then get to the point and mention the company, or whatever you want to tell the person on the phone. Remember that all you have to influence the other person is your voice. The better we use our voice, the more successful we will be. In telephone conversations, besides how intelligible we are, the pitch of our voice, whether we speak in a loud or a quiet tone, whether our voice is clear or rough, whether we cough frequently, whether our tone is harsh or gentle, and whether we keep repeating the same words all affect the listener positively or negatively. If we add the side factors I mentioned earlier (noise where we are speaking), we see once again how important telephone conversations are in our lives.
SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
Before starting the call, we need to be psychologically ready for it. If you have just been angry with someone, or are irritated, this will be reflected onto the person you are talking to. When the phone rings, you should shake off this effect. To do so, soften your facial expression while on the phone and try to smile as much as you can.
The most relaxing tone on the telephone is a person’s natural speaking tone. However, some people use their voice incorrectly on the phone, making it unnecessarily low or high. This can make the other person uncomfortable. So speak neither too loudly nor too quietly. Clear your throat, then pick up the receiver and begin speaking in your natural voice.
Tension in your body affects your speech and upsets the tuning of your voice. To prevent this tension:
- Whether sitting or standing, always keep your spine straight.
- When sitting, do not speak while leaning your weight on your elbows on the table.
- Do not keep your shoulders raised in a way that shortens your neck.
- Whenever you remember, relax your muscles and move them back and forth. This is especially important for people who work in call centres or switchboards.
- Speak at the same volume you would use with someone in front of you in everyday life.
As well as adjusting your tone of voice, when speaking on the phone you should pay attention to the intelligibility of your words (articulation), bearing in mind that telephone lines come between you.
If you articulate your words on the phone by opening your mouth a little more and moving your lips more actively, you will be easier to understand.
WHEN ENDING THE CALL
The conversation is over; it is time to hang up. I hope you remembered that the telephone is a means of communication, did not tie up the lines for too long, and did not use it for hours as if it were a way of writing letters. Instead of the expressions common when ending calls and influenced by American films, such as “bye-bye”, “kisses” or “take care”, wouldn’t it be better to use expressions such as “have a good day”, “good evening”, “have a good working day”, “talk soon”, “have a good holiday” or “happy holidays”?
The moment you answer the phone creates the first impression of the institution and the person; the moment you hang up creates the last impression that will be remembered. HOWEVER FAR TECHNOLOGY ADVANCES…